Extinction of Innocence
by Remyalexander
Summary: Obi-Wan returns from Melida/Daan with more than just memories though he does not know this until it is lost. Qui-Gon tries to help his apprentice navigate this terrible loss. Contains mpreg and miscarrige. Read at your own risk.


Extinction of Innocence

Qui-gon had just finished up an Ataru lesson with the senior Padawans; an assignment Master Mundi gave him to keep him occupied while he was Temple bound with his apprentice during Obi-Wan's probation. The council wished to keep him busy lest he come to bother them in his boredom. He is on his way to his quarters when he receives a comm transmission that his Padawan is in the Halls of Healing. No other information is given except a summons to the halls. That in itself is unusual, normally at least cursory information is provided to a Master of their apprentices condition if they are not with them when admitted to the Halls. Qui-gon starts towards the Halls with a feeling of unease brewing inside him.

As he arrived at the Halls his feeling of unease intensified at the scene before him. Speaking to Vokra Che was Yoda and Plo Koon, behind them were a handful of temple guards. His unease grew ten-fold when Adi Gallia walked out of a private treatment room to whisper something to her fellow council members. Three council members attending to an injured Padawan was almost unheard of. That in addition to the temple guards present had Qui-Gon, perhaps a bit invasively, probe Obi-Wan's mind. He was still alive thank the Force, though he did not seem disoriented or clouded in a way Qui-Gon would expect if he had suffered a major injury. Instead his signature was a mix of confusion and...sorrow? "Master Jinn", he looked up as Healer Che approached. She looked back at the council members before continuing. "I'm assuming you read your Padawans medical file when he became your apprentice and are aware he is from Stewjon?"  
"Yes but the only way that would be relevant is if he tested positive to be a carrier. As it is he tested negative."  
At this she shifted on her feet before taking a quick breath.  
"Well Master Quinn this is true. Obi-Wan tested negative for the carrier gene when he was brought to the temple. However in children under three a false negative can occur which is why we re-test at fifteen on the rare occasion a Stewjoni is brought to the temple. This is relevant because it appears that... your apprentice has suffered a miscarrige".  
Of all the things he expected her to say that was low on the list. He expected a training injury or stars forbid Endregaad Fever. His Padawan was only thriteen for force sakes. While Qui-gon was having what he thought was a very appropriate existential crisis Vokra Che continued speaking, at this point he wanted nothing more than to see Obi-Wan. "It appears that the fetus was around eight or nine weeks old" said Plo Koon cutting in. He had dismissed the temple guards while Qui-gon and Vokra were speaking and Qui-Gon had a sickening realization of what they had been there for. Padawans encounter many people during their studies but usually under supervision from their master or other teachers in the temple. To have a Padawan show up pregnant was highly unusual and although he understood it was for Obi-Wan's protection he was still hurt that his own Grand-Master would believe him capable of something such as this. "Standard procedure this is", Yoda said. He must have been projecting too strongly. He took a breath and released his emotions into the force. "Believe Obi-Wan became pregnant on Melida/Daan we do, speak to him to find out what happened you must. Know he was with a child he did not. Whatever he tells you affects his probation this will not". When he walks into the treatment room Obi-Wan is on the bed using a datapad for classwork. He takes a moment to observe his Padawan before he lets his presence be known. Obi-Wan is pale and a tad sweaty but otherwise looks more or less unchanged. Qui-gon knows from speaking with the healers that Obi-Wan will recover physically quite quickly but the mental and emotional recovery will take longer. Even without knowing that the child existed before passing into the force he knows that Obi-Wan will have many sessions with the mind healers coming up and maybe even some with Master Yoda should he wish. "Obi-Wan", he starts. "What happened?".  
"I was on my way to 'Anatomy of Non-Sentients of the Inner Rim' and then my stomach started cramping and then..I...I started bleeding. Quin found me in an enclave, I had wanted to sit down, he carried me here", Obi-Wan explained. Not exactly the information Qui-Gon was looking for but he was relieved to know that Obi-Wan had a friend with him when he arrived; even if he didn't always approve of the boisterous Quinlin Vos he knew that the boy was a good friend to Obi-Wan. Sitting down on a chair by the bed Qui-Gon decided to just go with the blunt approach.  
"I need to know about the other parent Obi-Wan". When Obi-Wan started to protest he lifted up his hands. "You are not in trouble with either me or the council. We are aware that, well that, sometimes things happen in a war-zone and as a child under the Republic age of consent I assure you that you will not be punished but you need to tell me Padawan". Obi-Wan is refusing to look at him. Qui-Gon considers grabbing his chin so that his apprentice will look him in the eyes but reconsiders. Force knows that this is a sensitive topic and Qui-Gon cannot imagine having this conversation with Master Dooku, so he lets it be. "There was this girl who was in the Young. One of the youngest ones, about eight standard. One day she was scouting for supplies in the Daan quarter with Neild when she stepped on a mine. Neild was able to carry her back but she was injured severely. Both of her legs were blown off and she was going into shock. I did what I could with force healing but it was not much. I knew we were going to lose her". "That sounds awful Padawan but I am not sure I understand" Qui-Gon responded. Obi-Wan looked up at him for a moment before huffing and continuing, "I wasn't going to let her die Master. I knew I had to do something. There was this medic who lived nearby. We all knew about him but the Young did not go to him because of his requested cost. I...I thought that I would not be returning to the temple so I did not mind giving him what he wanted if he could save Panhu."  
Qui-Gon took a moment to release his anger into the force over this being who extorted such things from younglings in exchange for life saving treatment. He already knew the answer but he also knew he had to ask. "And what was it that he requested in return for her treatment Obi-Wan?". "You know, like sex" he mumbled. Pushing on he prompted "So he saved Panhu and then you gave him what he wanted. Is that it?".  
"Sorta" hesitated Obi-Wan.  
"Meaning what"?  
"Well…" Obi-Wan continued sheepishly "It wasn't the only time he and I had...spent time together, at first I only went back for medical supplies or help but then I just kept going back, I liked it, I liked spending time with him." Obi-Wan took a sip of water that was on the bedside table next to him before continuing. "After awhile it was more than just sex or a business transaction it was nice. I enjoyed spending time with him, we would watch Holodramas and just sleep when we had time. When he learned that I took water organ lessons here at the temple he started to teach me to play where my lessons left off. I really liked him" his Padwan finished. He was absentmindedly playing with the ends of his braid and looking anywhere but at Qui-Gon. Qui-gon understood that his student had gone through a lot. That in situations such as this it was only natural to develop feelings. Qui-gon did not know however how to get through to his Padawan that while Obi-Wan may have developed some feelings he could guarantee that this man did not. That this man was using Obi-Wan and his Padawans self-sacrificing ways. "I didn't know", Obi-Wan interrupted his musings. "Hmm?"  
"I didn't know that I was pregnant. I knew that I had to be re-tested when I turned fifteen, the healers told me when I had my Padawan check-up. I knew it was possible so we were careful. That's why I didn't think...I didn't even consider…".  
"Are you saying you had symptoms Obi-Wan? I did not notice you acting any different" he asked. The boy nodded "Only a couple, I was nauseous for a couple of weeks". Obi-Wan opened his mouth and closed it again before continuing. Qui-Gon felt the force around them flush with embarrassment "and sometimes my nipples would be sore", Obi-Wan mumbled. "Padawan, why did you not come to me? If you had told me about this man I would have insisted on a medical evaluation", he chided. He knew that he and Obi-Wan were not a perfect team but he likes to believe that the boy trusts him enough now to approach him with something like this. "Do you think that..that..the baby would have lived if the healers knew about it earlier?". Obi-Wan was valiantly trying to blink back tears now. Of course he was, Qui-gon had just made it seem like a medical evaluation would have saved the pregnancy when nothing could be further from the truth. "No no no Obi-Wan" he moved from the bed to the chair to pull the boy into his arms. Obi-Wan stiffened before melting into him and beginning to sob. "The healers said that the fetus had no chance, that it was incompatible with life, it happens fairly often in human pregnancies and there is nothing you could have done. The only thing I meant with the medical evaluation would have beens for STI's", he comforted his Padawan. Or attempted to, he knew that it would take more than this for Obi-Wan to come to terms with this situation. "It was a boy or it would have been a boy, I could tell, I could feel it in the force" Obi-Wan admitted. The words muffled due to be spoken into his cloak. "Would you like to name him Padawan"  
"What? But would that not lead to attachment to what I could not have? I don't know, is that appropriate?". His apprentice was beginning to panic. Little breaths coming out in spurts and his hands begin trembling. "Shh my Padawan it is okay. Death is a part of life. It comes to all things born or not, sentient or not. Loss is a natural consequence to that. To acknowledge said loss is not attachment it is serenity. Now I will not force you to do this. Such an action must be entirely your choice but if you choose to pick out a name I believe it will help you acknowledge your loss and let it go". During his speech Obi-Wan had calmed considerably. He looked up at Qui-Gon and nodded and he knew his Padawan would think over his words before coming to a decision.

The next couple of weeks passed in a blur. Obi-Wan was released the first day from the Halls and spent some quiet days with him in their quarters. After he was cleared Obi-Wan returned to his classes with a story of a training injury to tell his classmates. Their first hurtle came when Obi-Wan snuck into an empty meditation room with the intent of hiding from the mind healers and had to be personally escorted to his mind healing session by Master Yoda after trying to skip out. That anecdote told to him by his Grand-Master actually made Qui-Gon feel better. He would be much more worried if his wayward apprentice went to all of his appointments willingly. After the first couple of sessions the healers called Qui-Gon in to speak with them. Some sessions with his Padawan and some without. In his first session with his Padawan, Obi-Wan spoke of the atrocities he had seen on Melida/Daan and his fears for where he would go if he was never accepted back into the Order. Cersei's death meant he certainly could not stay on Melida/Daan, and a young former Jedi Padawan only had so much life experience outside of the Order. Another joint session had Obi-Wan explain more of his relationship with the medic. 'Jace' as Obi-Wan called him. The things they would do together. His guest chamber that Obi-Wan could stay in when he wanted or needed. About how after sessions with Healer Dyn he could see that the relationship was inappropriate. "I knew at the time it was bad because of my age, but another part of my thought that maybe everyone had given up on the majority planets children reaching Galactic Standard", he had explained. In one session together they spoke very briefly about Obi-Wan being curious as to what his child would turn out to be and his sorrow that he would never know or have the child. His student was quiet for most of the day after that one.  
A month or so after Obi-Wan expressed his sorrow for his loss Obi-Wan comes to him after his classes with a request. "The Lake Level"  
"Its where Bant and I go sometimes"  
"What do you want to do there"  
At this Obi-Wan pulls a small piece of paper out of his pocket. The name Mirko was written in Galactic Basic in Obi-Wan's neat handwriting. All at once he understood. When they got down to the Lake Level (thankfully empty), Obi-Wan took out a match a lit the paper aflame before dropping it in the water. They are both quiet for a moment before Obi-Wan speaks. "It means peace"  
Obi-Wan then sits down in light meditation. A feeling of fondness overtakes him for a moment. After all that Obi-Wan has been through in his short life he had every right to be a little bit broken or bitter. But his Padawan stands before him hale and whole. A picture of perfect Jedi serenity. For a moment he can see a picture of the boy in his mind as a knight. An ideal Jedi, the kind Master wants to be credited for. The picture is blurry and shaded but Qui-Gon chalks it up to his abysmal Unifying Force ability. That was always Obi-Wan's strength. He feels the boy shift out of his meditation trance next to him, lighter and freer than he had been in a long time. Qui-Gon may be pathetically weak in the Unifying Force but he knew intrinsically, down to his very soul that Obi-Wan was going to be okay now. Such a revelation, he thought, warrants a trip to Dex's.  
"Come on Padawan, lets go, I believe we should dine at Dex's Diner tonight" and so they went. Perhaps not completely healed but certainly on their way. 


End file.
